mezaina mixtape vol. 1

mezaina mixtape vol. 1 . 2017

from last post's 'textile sisters' to my real sisters – here's a post dedicated to 3 special women. here's another project i worked on during my 'materiality and intimacy' course late last year. i created a mixtape of songs connected to memories of my sisters and family, while growing up in dubai during the late 80s and 90s.
music was very important in the mezaina household. when thinking about my family and years of childhood, there's always been music. i was born in 1985, the youngest after three sisters, and i have a fading recollection of interacting with their younger selves when we were all very young. but i do remember the music that was playing on the radio or on tv whenever they were around.

between the 80s and 90s, my sisters took me everywhere they possibly could. i was constantly with them at home, in school and on various outings. growing up in dubai, which was still a humble city in its early beginnings, the exposure to popular culture from the west was very dominant. our acquired interests in the british and american pop charts was inevitable. i remember music playing in car rides to and from school, and coming together as a family to watch the latest music videos on tv. my sisters also began a tradition of recording their favourite music videos on vhs tapes, which now take up a huge corner in storage! there's no doubt that music evokes intimate memories of pleasant times when we did things together as a family.

i have acquired similar tastes of each of my sisters’ various musical interests. the mezaina mixtape vol. 1 is a homage to my sisters' love for music and the pop stars that defined the 80s and 90s. besides having immediate memories, they’re also great songs to listen to. the collected songs within the mixtape act as vignettes of personal memories i have of each song in relation to my sisters. hearing a particular song immediately takes me back to a specific moment from the past. these intimate memories slowly fade with age, yet listening to these recordings on a cassette tape feels like stepping into a time capsule, with sounds that are so specific to a particular era.

i dedicate this mixtape to my sisters, for being who they are and for what they mean to me. i haven’t made a mixtape since cassette tapes were relevant, so this was a trip down memory lane, reminding me of when i would watch my sisters make mixtapes of their own.

thank you for letting the music you love become the soundtrack to my life in good times and bad. to quote nan goldin who, in her book ‘the ballad of sexual dependency’, perfectly said – “ […] this is my party. this is my family, my history.” 

happy listening (click on the memories below, which will direct you to the song attached to the selected memory).

the mezaina mixtape vol. 1

side a (the 80s)

1 – i was welcomed into this world when this song was at the top of the charts.

2 – watching my sisters reenact the choreography from this music video.

3 – my sister shared this music video with me because she knew it would make me laugh.

4 – my earliest memory of my sister fangirling over a boy band.

5 – weekends by the beach with this song playing on my sister's radio.

6 – my sister's all time favourite band.

7 – another music video they knew would make me laugh.

8 – i thought this singer looked like my aunt. i also constantly used to ask 'who's gershwin?'.

9 – more fangirling and screaming as this song played on tv or on the radio.

10 – my earliest memory of a good music video. also, the lead singer had a similar haircut like my sister!

side b (the 90s)

1 – my love for this singer was solidified after hearing this song repeatedly.

2 – blushing over the song and it's music video.

3 – the evil character in this song and music video always frightened me.

4 – watching my sister sing this song at karaoke.

5 – hearing this song on my way to school when my sister hijacked the car radio.

6 – hearing this song on my way to squash practise. also, the band were 3 sisters and a brother like us!

7 – stole my sister's copy of this girlband's album to hear it in my bedroom. i never returned it.

8 – my sister's love for r'n'b.

9 – my sister's love for dance.

10 – my love for this band was solidified after this comeback track. my sisters took me to watch them live. 

thank you textile sisters: 2016 - 2018

anjuli . 2017 

carolina . 2017

cassie . 2017

charlotte . 2017

khalid . 2017

winnie . 2017

'thank you textile sisters' zine . 2017

this post is long overdue, but it only made sense to work on it when i got back to dubai. this is a post dedicated to the five wonderful women i shared my risd experience with in the textiles department. 

in the fall semester of last year, i took a class titled 'materiality and intimacy' which focused on understanding intimate/personal objects and artworks. it was a struggle at first being a part of the class, because of student dynamics and immature conversations during class discussions. but overtime, it was one of my favourite classes i took at risd, as it expanded my knowledge of artists, works and reading material i would never have been exposed to. shout out to professor jo sittenfeld for really working hard in making the course engaging and enriching.

for one of the class assignments, i had to create a project that combined the two prompts of creating a ‘family album’ with a selected quote from one of our class readings. i selected a quote by nan goldin from her photo series ‘the ballad of sexual dependency’, which was my first time seeing her work. goldin describes how she built her own family around her circle of friends, which reminded me of my situation of being temporarily separated from my family back home, and having to create a new one in providence. my chosen family were my 'textile sisters' in the risd textile graduate program. here's what nan goldin said which really hit home:

“in my family of friends, there is a desire for the intimacy of the blood family, but also a desire for something more open-ended. roles aren’t so defined. these are long-term relationships. people leave, people come back, but these separations are without the breach of intimacy. we are not bonded by blood or place, but by a similar morality, the need to live fully and for the moment, a disbelief in the future, a similar respect for honesty, a need to push limits, and a common history.”

i really think i got lucky with the group of girls i shared the graduate experience with. as the only boy in my group, my ‘textile sisters’ were welcoming and open, accepting me into their lives. we’ve all come from different walks of life and experiences, but together we shared this moment, creating our own history and memories. we were all very aware that our time together was temporary, and we’d probably part ways to begin new chapters in our lives upon graduation. but the relationships we’ve built together will truly last forever.

i created a zine with illustrated portraits of my ‘textile sisters’ to commemorate the community we built for ourselves and each other. i gifted each of the girls a copy so that no one else except the six of us get to have one. this personal zine is my way of saying thank you to anjuli, carolina, cassie, charlotte and winnie, for 2 wonderful years together at risd. 

a yellow notebook

daftar asfar . 2018 (photo courtesy of nahla tabbaa)

daftar asfar – pages 1 (with rama duwaji) & 2 . 2018 (photo courtesy of nahla tabbaa)

daftar asfar – pages 3 & 4 (with sarah ahmed) . 2018 (photo courtesy of nahla tabbaa)

here are a series of illustrations i worked on shortly after moving back to dubai. i contributed to a project titled 'daftar asfar', which loosely translates to 'yellow notebook'. daftar asfar is a traveling sketchbook "[...] built on the spirit of collaboration, based in the middle east.". the sketchbook is shared with artists to freely create imagery and collaborate with each other within its pages.

when i was given the sketchbook, the first page i was assigned had already been worked on by an amazing illustrator who had the book before me – rama duwaji. i had four days to work on a total of four pages, leaving room on my last page for the next artist to start from. i was so happy to hear that the next contributing artist who i'd be sharing a page with was one of my favourite zine makers and friend, sarah ahmed.

it was a fun project to work on; drawing freely and expressively without worrying about any rules. i filled my pages while stationed in my temporary workspace – the dining room at home! my illustrations were of observations around me at that moment, as well as of photos of myself and friends, memories of people and specific places from home and my time in providence. for the first time in a long time, i drew without referencing a photo through tracing, and challenged myself by only drawing from observation. i think i did a pretty good job loosely capturing accuracies of some of the portraits of myself and friends in the above pages.

a big thanks goes to nahla tabbaa for inviting me to participate in daftar asfar. i can't wait to see where this project goes, and i'm truly honoured to be a part of it. here's more info on daftar asfar via their instagram page.

back home

portrait . 2018

it's been awhile since i last updated my blog. i've been back home in dubai for almost a month now, and have been occupied with settling back and adjusting to being here. i'm so glad to be amongst my family and friends again, and in the city that inspires me. but i do miss moments of being in providence – like my apartment, or my amazon prime account! what i do miss the most is having a studio space, and completely committing to an artistic practise. my biggest challenge with being back is figuring out how to apply my risd experience into my practise here, and making it all work towards becoming a sustainable artist.

i can't wait to see what projects i work on next and what i come up with. i'll slowly be picking up momentum once i get past the jet lag and cleaning up my room which is in need of a long, overdue makeover! until then, i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm back home. 

i illustrated myself as a quick exercise to get my creative juices flowing. stay tuned, for posts on what's to come, and some old projects i didn't have time to share.