29.12.23

write the year out

self portrait . 2023

it's always a shock when the year comes to a close, asking ourselves how did it pass so fast! it feels like there aren't enough months in the year anymore to achieve one's goals and promises. but at the same time, we all wish for the year to end when things get too much. and with the current terrible news from around the world, this year couldn't end any faster...
personally, 2023 was a mixed one. there were a series of losses – from losing my studio to the passing of loved ones, and multiple canceled projects. but at the same time, it was a year where i kept reminding myself of how truly blessed i've been despite all the losses. one of the greatest things that happened this year was finally traveling again since covid. after three years of not leaving dubai, i got on a plane for both work and leisure, and it's been great to experience the world again outside of the dubai bubble. on a professional front, things were quite slow in comparison to previous years. but the projects i did work on were some of my favourites, and also allowed me to hone in and grow my skills as an illustrator, printmaker and textile artist. please do check out my previous posts to see the projects i worked on this past year.
with that said, i can't have an end of year blog post without spilling truths about the local art scene and it's many disappointments. i probably sound like a broken record at this point, but every time i think the art scene has outdone itself with its share of let downs, it continues to surprise me with more disappointments! at this point, you can't make this s*** up! here is my 2023 list of disappointments and views about the arts:

・losing my artist studio abruptly earlier this year left a little bitter taste that hasn't gone away. besides my nearest and dearest who helped with moving, storage and providing alternative working spaces at short notice, there was absolutely no support from the wider art community.
・it seems there's only interest in artists and their works when presented as a spectacle in scale and takes up half the room (they like to call these works 'monumental'), or works that respond to sexy, annual buzzwords like 'anthropocene', 'sustainability', 'diaspora', or the 'global south' to name a few! i personally don't have a problem with such works, i just wish there was an equal amount of appreciation and space to highlight works that are created outside these conditions.
・i sometimes feel the local art world is only interested in work that are 'conceptual' and present themselves in abstraction, steering away from anything representational. i wonder if that's because it keeps things 'safe' and doesn't ruffle any feathers as the works are open to interpretation by viewers. or maybe everyone's pretending they're super intelligent and think the answers to all the world's problems are found by staring at a cube in a white cube!
・the bar is so low – to be praised and rewarded as an artist is to be mediocre at best. it doesn't matter what your work is about, or how good it is, it comes down to a successful social media campaign and putting the name and face first, not allowing the work to stand on its own or speak for itself. it seems this support for mediocrity is a wider issue, with friends outside the art bubble complaining about the same thing happening in their industries as well.
・i've come to realise that everyone is dispensable in the arts. institutions, galleries, curators – it seems that anyone with some position of power dictates trends and decisions, and you're only rewarded when you start ticking someone else's boxes. the minute you don't, eyes wander to the next person who will. people don't want to listen unless it's exactly what they want to hear...
・it irks me knowing that the region is only of interest to many when there's a big fat paycheque waiting! the amount of people that have popped in and out this past year, who have received support and granted 'golden' opportunities, only to take space from others who've called the region home and haven't reaped the same rewards. it's unfair. i don't know when will we break the habit of 'looking outwards'... 
・it seems people have lost a moral compass. i think this was the year where i've heard and personally seen some of the wildest stories coming from the art world. it's pretty disgusting the amount of nepotism, scandals, jealousy, exhausting every opportunity within the arts only to bad mouth institutions and individuals, pretending you have a political stance about current global affairs only to realise it's all performative – it's all quite toxic. because of it, i've come to the conclusion that my existence within the art ecosystem is in the periphery, away from all this madness. i have no interest in being in the middle of it all, and it's been made very clear that many don't have an interest in me either. to those that are genuine, and may be interested in working together, you know where to find me...

and with that, i have to say good bye to 2023. once again, i'm so blessed to have worked on some of my favourite projects this past year, and it wouldn't have been possible without the support of individuals and institutions who believe in my work and what i do – y'all know who you are, and i can't thank you enough. i hope 2024 has some exciting opportunities, with genuine collaborations and relationships waiting to happen. until then, season's greetings and happy new year to everyone reading this. may 2024 be peaceful and good to us all...