31.12.21

the year that felt like two

portrait (i can't stand myself) . 2021

this wasn’t how i planned my end of year post to look like. i would’ve liked to have shared an artwork i created as greeting cards for loved ones, and reflect on how the year was. but with having to quarantine after testing positive for covid, this year’s post will be slightly different. 
i type this as i self isolate in my bedroom which i've had a strange relationship with through recent years. i’ve felt i had overgrown my bedroom awhile ago, and have neglected keeping it a comfortable, tidy space because of it. i think quarantining in a space that i've been avoiding has forced me to reconnect with it again –  i'm enjoying my room for the first time in awhile, reading comics and watching movies which i used to do when i was younger. it’s made me realise that this is a space i need to take care of more. fingers crossed i carry through…
now back to my year in review – i never imagined that by the end of the year, i’d say 2021 was tougher than last year. it really felt like two years clumped into one! the first half of 2021 felt very much like 2020, while the second half shifted gears during what was one of the hottest summers experienced. 2021 was the busiest i’ve been with work since the pandemic started, and i’m truly grateful for that. but at the same time, i was disappointed with people’s bad working habits that consist of ridiculous timelines and an expectation that work needs to get done regardless of any circumstances. i’ve had some of my worst client experiences this year, and unfortunately have been burnt out because of it.
and to no surprise, the local art world continued to show it’s true colours and i continue to question my place in it. it’s a real shame to see how corporatised the art world has become, where acknowledgement of one’s work and practise is mostly through institutional channels and participations. it feels like (and i cant emphasise this enough) everyone’s working with the same artists, same curators, same art jargon, looking for some sort of institutional approval or validation. it’s all so banal and contrived, not inspiring, nor challenging or creative. and with confusions about the art world, i’ve also been disappointed with the behaviours of some friends and peers. it feels like everyone’s performing these days, longing for some inclusion and acceptance in this contrived bubble. sometimes i wonder maybe i’m the crazy one with my opinions. but there are enough people out there who agree that these things are happening, and it’s not cool. the last two years have really brought out the true colours of many. and it’s a shame when your closest friends are the ones that have completely changed. with that said, i’m ready to face 2022 with everything i’ve learnt this year. and i know family and the truest of friends are there for me to not face anything alone…
so here it is – my 21st post for the year 2021. it has been a difficult one, and who knows what to expect next. but here’s hoping it’ll be less crazy than what just happened. stay tuned in 2022 where i’ll be sharing projects that i worked on this year but was unable to make time to post about, as well as some new ones. 
seasons greetings, happy new year, and see you on the other side. and as always, may 2022 be good to us all…
ps – if anyone is wondering, i did dance this year. and it was wonderful…